Vow to Celibacy – The Fearless Mommy

In today’s article I will talk about my vow to celibacy. Have you read “Becoming Celibate after Being Sexually Active“? If not, read by clicking above.

Disclosure: In the name of full transparency, please be aware that this blog post contains affiliate links and any purchases made through such links will result in a small commission for me (at no extra cost for you).

What Now

Committing to celibacy requires a vow. The vow states what’s the purpose and how you plan to stay the course. When I say refrain from intimacy I mean that I will not have physical intimacy at all. I know some might think how could a millennial mother do such a thing. Well, I am going to share a few reasons why.

Why Celibacy

Reason #1

To grow my spiritual relationship with God – I will admittedly say I had grown away from God. I always had good intentions to grow my relationship with God but I grew away from the unknown. I am getting back into the word and will commit to my daily lessons.

Raising three children it’s a must that I show them God is the creator and provider of everything. Since joining our church my oldest is learning more about God and what he has done for us. It make me proud that she enjoys learning about God.

Reason #2

To understand and know that my body is a temple – I have grown to understand that having physical intimacy with the other sex depending on the agreement of the relationship can lead to short term commitments and some times long term commitments. In most cases short term commitments mean becoming friends with benefits which usually ends up with no commitment at all.

When most women engage in relationships of this sort they tend to feel used and lead on. Or in most cases in a long term commitment the level of intimacy is a deal breaker. For example, if a man and woman started off having physical intimacy and one day either party wanted to switch that up and practice celibacy it could lead to a break up.

Reason #3

To practice self-love and self-care at a new level – Most would look at me and assume I’ve always had high self-esteem when in doubt at times I questioned it.

I was picked on in high school and thinking back on it now I never talked to anyone about it because I didn’t see it as a issue. I got picked on because of my big feet (I believe I wore a 9-10 in high school) and being skinny. Fast forward to today I on a high because I am a woman that thinks and speaks highly of herself. I am still skinny but I have embraced my physique without caring what anyone thinks or says. Now speaking on self-care I have learned to just take care of myself at all cost. In order to take care of my children my health is just as important.

My Vow to Celibacy

I bet you are wondering why make a vow to celibacy? While going through this phase in my life I have managed to vow to myself that I will not engage in any physical intimacy. I promise not to engage any activities that could lead to breaking this vow. Not saying that I can’t date but knowing that I don’t have to engage in anything that will trigger involvement that I know will break my vow. I will acknowledge and say I am happily dating and the difference is I am dating with a purpose in mind. The purpose is to meet a like-minded man that has a relationship with God, respects my decision to vow to celibacy until marriage, have similar goals and wants to build a family.

Activities That Could Lead to Breaking My Vow

  • Sleeping in the same bed
  • Staying in the same apartment/house
  • Drinking too much

Those are a few that I can think of right off the top of my head. I am sure there are more but I am sure you all grasp the concept. Do not put yourself in situations that can trigger your weakness and allow your flesh to give in.

Promise Ring

When I decided I was going through with the whole celibacy thing I told my close friends that I was buying myself a promise ring. All of my friends that I told were happy and encouraged my decision to want more. I made sure to explain my vow to celibacy. The promise ring symbolizes the vow I made to myself and serves as a reminder that this ring will stay on my ring finger until it is replaced. The promise ring will remain on my ring finger until it is replaced with an engagement ring and than my wedding ring. Most may not understand this concept but coming from a woman that knows her worth and what she can bring to the table any man that I come into contact with will have to understand my logic for doing this.

Conclusion

I am writing to the moms/women who are struggling to find love. The women who know their worth and will not settle for anything less than the best. In practicing celibacy you will learn that you are sacrificing a lot but knowing that the results will be even greater will bring joy and ease to your life.

Moms & Women if you are practicing celibacy and are looking to make a vow to yourself let’s talk. Leave a comment below!

If you are a mom or a woman looking into celibacy purchase and read this book today!!

Becoming Celibate After Being Sexually Active

Mother of Three & Celibate

**This article is a bit different from what I usually write about but I have been sitting on this for awhile and felt that the time is right.**
Disclosure: In the name of full transparency, please be aware that this blog post contains affiliate links and any purchases made through such links will result in a small commission for me (at no extra cost for you).

Let me rewind and provide a little bit more information. I know your mind is wondering how but brace yourself to find out why?

My oldest daughter is six years old, son is two years old and youngest daughter is soon to be eleven months old.

Well I know your wondering how long have you been celibate? I have been celibate for now almost 21 months.

Let me explain.

I found out I was pregnant on 4/26/2017. At the time I was seven weeks pregnant at the time I found out. I was hurt, confused and surprised.

All weird emotions, right?

Well, at this time I was already over and done with my previous relationship prior to me conceiving baby. I’m a grown woman so of course I took responsibility for my actions and took on my pregnancy like a champ. Baby girl was special in my eyes!!

Why Celibacy?

From the moment, I told the other party that there would no longer be a sexual relationship I realized that my body was more important than a quick satisfaction.

I wanted and deserved better.

I took in a lot of things that most didn’t and don’t know about. The relationship was toxic and I had to stand firm on what was important.

I chose ME and to not suffer in silence anymore.

It took me awhile but I had to forgive myself for staying in a relationship with this particular person for one and a half years but physically trying to co-parent in the same home for another year and a half. It was more so for my children but also because I didn’t want to move back to Ohio.

Selfish on my part, right?

Celibacy until Marriage

I started practicing celibacy without actually making a pledge to myself right away.

After hearing how good, ‘The Wait’ by Devon Franklin/ Meagan Good was I decided to read it and gain more insight into my decision. The book was amazing!

Going through my situation of fleeing an physical & emotional abusive relationship I knew that I had to make some changes within myself first. First thing was to gain back a relationship with God. Second, take care of myself (physically, mentally, financially & spiritually). Third thing was to continue to care for my three children.

Toxic relationships can put a hindrance on a lot of things that we can be blinded by. I didn’t chose to do this because of religious purposes. Looking back at my previous relationships I discovered a pattern of loving & being intimate with men that wanted nothing more. It seems as if marriage was far from their mind and I settled it for it. As women we must know our WORTH.

I made a vow to be celibate.

..committed to this vow because I am powerful and I have no desire to be sexually involved.

I matter.

..deserve to heal broken wounds.

..deserve to put my faith in God and know that marriage will follow when he see the time right.

 

Since reading ‘The Wait’ I have recommended this book to so many women. I would exclusively like to invite women that feel stuck, suffer from low confidence/self-esteem, have been in abusive relationships or just want a change to add this book to their list of books to read.

Once you start reading this book you will not want to put it down. Grab your copy now by clicking the book!!

 

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