How to use fitness as a form of self-care

People are often amazed when I tell them I use fitness as a form of self-care. Being in the gym does something to my mental; it calms me down and helps me focus on the present.

I can remember around this time last year I wasn’t worried as much of caring to practice self-care. To be honest that was the last thing on my mind. I often had to remind myself that caring for three children that I have to hold myself more accountable.

Some people have a misconception about people with lean body types. Most people assume that I don’t need to workout because of my lean body type. I have my reasons and not being in shape is one of them.

I want to share three reasons why I use fitness as a form of self-care.

Three Reasons on how I use fitness as a form of self-care

First Reason

  • To stay stress-free

Second Reason

  • Being a single mother it’s one of those activities I can enjoy by myself at the expense of a monthly membership

Third Reason

  • It never gets boring

Let’s Dig Deeper

First Reason

  • With the demands of mothering three little humans all by myself stress is something that I know can slip up on me. To be honest, I don’t necessarily know what it feels like to be stressed. In my opinion, if I am worrying then I am stressing. Anytime, I am feeling other than myself I know that I have to step back from whatever I’m doing to regroup. My advice is knowing your body, your way of thinking can help prevent stress before it comes. Being in the gym the only thing I focus on are my exercises and the music I’m listening to at that moment.

Second Reason

  • Being a single mother and having to budget monthly can sometimes put a damper on anything outside of the necessities for your family. For me, I make myself a priority which means my membership with my local “Planet Fitness” is a MUST. They have the option of a $10 or $20 membership. I chose the $20 membership because anywhere I travel to that has a “Planet Fitness” I can utilize my benefits. It comes out of my bank account monthly. As mothers it must be something you are serious about. Moms until you decide to make your health a priority you will continue to put yourself on the back-burner.

Third Reason

  • Since making a pledge to put myself first I wanted to make sure I had a variation in my exercises so that I don’t get bored easily. Back in January of 2018, when I first started at “Planet Fitness” I participated in the group fitness classes because I knew I wanted to tone & gain muscle but didn’t know what exercises to do to achieve such results. I currently find inspiration for my exercises from the internet (Pinterest & social media) & from the group fitness classes. I’ve found that a variation in my exercises keeps it interesting & exciting.

After reading my reasons on how I use fitness as a form of self-care I hope that you choose to make your health a priority. Most of the time as mothers we run on empty fluids and I wonder how we make it through. I’m guilty of ensuring my children get things before I do most of the time. Most of the time, it’s okay to do such but sometimes simple things like buying a new outfit could be necessities for us but we opt out of it because we feel guilty for doing so.

Self-care comes in so many ways whether tangible or intangible. Just like the kids need new things we do too. Moms I’m here to tell you stop feeling guilty for buying those new shoes, sterling silver necklace or even a new computer that you want. It’s time to start treating yourself just like you do the kids with no hesitation.

We work hard to treat ourselves; every so often. Moms take the pledge with me to treat yourself monthly with an outing, a special gift or even just a $10 or $20 gym membership.

Moms let me know what ways you show yourself love with some self-care. Drop it in the comments below.

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How I Survived Breastfeeding

I am amazed at how I survived breastfeeding. Looking back at my experiences it’s interesting how each story was different. I am still actively breastfeeding my youngest child whose 21 months old. Everyone’s story is different but follow along to see how I survived breastfeeding.

Disclosure: In the name of full transparency, please be aware that this blog post contains affiliate links and any purchases made through such links will result in a small commission for me (at no extra cost for you).

How I Survived Breastfeeding My First Born

My oldest daughter, Naima is six years old and I breastfed her for two months. She was my first child so I wanted to do everything right and that included breastfeeding her because everybody made it out to be “THE RIGHT THING TO DO”. I didn’t know much about breastfeeding at the time I was just happy not having to buy formula.

Well to my surprise, Naima was born three weeks early due to me having low fluid. Pretty much because of my small physique she had no more room in my belly so they admitted me immediately. The hospital started my induction process on a Friday afternoon and she was born that Sunday morning.

She weighed 5 pounds and 4 ounces. After giving birth due to her weigh she had issues latching on. I worked with a lactation consultant while in the hospital and still was unsuccessful at getting her to latch. Started pumping right away and pumped two to three times a day if not more.

After being home from the hospital I wasn’t eating properly which caused my supply to decrease. Due to my lack of knowledge about breastfeeding I switched my baby to “Gerber Gentle Powdered Milk”. I thought to myself if I have more kids I have to tell how I survived breastfeeding the next time around.

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Black mother breastfeeding her baby girl.

How I Survived Breastfeeding My Second Born

My middle child is Braxton, my son is three years old and I breastfed him for twelve months. With having a little bit of knowledge on breastfeeding I knew I wanted to make this story completely different. I did my research and learned more about breastfeeding which came in handy. Before giving birth to my son that I would breastfeed again. I knew from experience that if he didn’t latch on immediately I would have to work harder.

Baby boy was born five days before his due date weighing 7 pounds and 4 ounces. After giving birth the nurses cleaned him up and he immediately latched on and started to feed. He was a very demanding schedule. He had to eat every two hours like clockwork and even sometimes every one and a half hours. I was a tired mama but I was determined to provide him with my liquid gold.

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Back To Work

While being home EBF (exclusively breastfeeding) for twelve weeks before returning to work.; I froze some milk while home but it wasn’t a lot of it. I made it a habit to pump three to four times a day to build a supply for the next day and so forth and this continued every week. My pumped milk took over the fridge.

Braxton started daycare at three months due to me returning back to work at the time. While returning back to work I sometimes had thirty minutes or an hour lunch break. Within that allowed time I had to pump and eat lunch which sometimes meant no time to relax a bit. Also, it meant I had to store my milk in the work refrigerator. I would have preferred my own mini fridge, but oh well.

While at daycare I made sure to take four bottles each five ounces for him to drink. some days he would drink all bottles and some days only three. It all depended on his appetite and sleeping patterns that day. At one point I thought my milk supply was decreasing so I purchased oatmeal raisin lactation cookies from Toys’R’Us. Out of a pack of 12 cookies I ate two. I wasn’t a fan of the taste. I realized shortly after my milk supply didn’t decrease.

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Transition To Bottles

I remember a week before him starting daycare trying out a bottle for the first time. Yes you heard me right. A week before starting daycare. He took to it just fine so I was happy about that. I had purchased the “Tommee Tippee” bottles. Feedings at night were not so bad because I prepared myself to wake up three to four times until he got on a sleeping schedule. Once he got on a sleeping schedule he would wake up one to two times through the night.

I will admit I did co-sleep so during feedings I would just roll over to feed him until he fell back asleep. When he turned four months he started eating baby food which decreased a little of the milk intake. Around this time he would consume about three bottles in addition to baby food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Sounds like a lot huh?

Yes baby boy was a greedy boy and still is. Around nine months he as more vocal on when he was hungry so it was easier with feedings. He was still EBF (exclusively breastfeeding) but around this time it was only one early morning feeding.

At this point I had surpassed my goal of three, six and nine months so the only thing left for me was to hit my twelve month goal of breastfeeding. Due to traveling plans just one day away from his birthday that was the last time he was breastfed. Once he turned one I switched him to whole milk. The transition was not bad at all. At this point I knew I survived breastfeeding this time.

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How I Survived Breastfeeding My Third Born

My youngest daughter, who is currently 21 months old is still breastfed. During the week she feeds at night/overnight and on the weekend on demand. Baby girl was born two days before her due date weighing 6 pounds and 14 ounces. As she entered the world and the nurse placed her on my chest she was smacking her mouth. We did skin-to-skin immediately and she motioned to feed on my breast. She latched instantly and that began our very demanding schedule where she ate every two hours unless she was sleep.

Sleeping for three to four hours after feedings sometimes and she fed one to two times during early mornings. Around six months she was feeding three to four times during the days and eat about two to three times through the night. She was attempting to sit up at this time as well. She spent a good amount of time in her rocker and she also her a walker. At this age she was smiling and laughing all day everyday.

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At about 11 months my milk supply was getting funky and at this time I stopped pumping. She was eating full meals so I started to only feed her at night on the weekdays and on demand on the weekends. She is now 21 months and we still do this routine.

I’m sure some of you are wondering when will this journey end for me and baby girl. To be honest I am not sure. I am amazed at myself at how I survived breastfeeding. We have been away from each other weeks at a time and she can’t shake mama’s liquid gold. Let’s just say I’m not ready to cut ties yet either. I love our bonding moments.

Moms I would love to hear about your breastfeeding journey. Leave a comment below let’s chat!!

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Vow to Celibacy – The Fearless Mommy

In today’s article I will talk about my vow to celibacy. Have you read “Becoming Celibate after Being Sexually Active“? If not, read by clicking above.

Disclosure: In the name of full transparency, please be aware that this blog post contains affiliate links and any purchases made through such links will result in a small commission for me (at no extra cost for you).

What Now

Committing to celibacy requires a vow. The vow states what’s the purpose and how you plan to stay the course. When I say refrain from intimacy I mean that I will not have physical intimacy at all. I know some might think how could a millennial mother do such a thing. Well, I am going to share a few reasons why.

Why Celibacy

Reason #1

To grow my spiritual relationship with God – I will admittedly say I had grown away from God. I always had good intentions to grow my relationship with God but I grew away from the unknown. I am getting back into the word and will commit to my daily lessons.

Raising three children it’s a must that I show them God is the creator and provider of everything. Since joining our church my oldest is learning more about God and what he has done for us. It make me proud that she enjoys learning about God.

Reason #2

To understand and know that my body is a temple – I have grown to understand that having physical intimacy with the other sex depending on the agreement of the relationship can lead to short term commitments and some times long term commitments. In most cases short term commitments mean becoming friends with benefits which usually ends up with no commitment at all.

When most women engage in relationships of this sort they tend to feel used and lead on. Or in most cases in a long term commitment the level of intimacy is a deal breaker. For example, if a man and woman started off having physical intimacy and one day either party wanted to switch that up and practice celibacy it could lead to a break up.

Reason #3

To practice self-love and self-care at a new level – Most would look at me and assume I’ve always had high self-esteem when in doubt at times I questioned it.

I was picked on in high school and thinking back on it now I never talked to anyone about it because I didn’t see it as a issue. I got picked on because of my big feet (I believe I wore a 9-10 in high school) and being skinny. Fast forward to today I on a high because I am a woman that thinks and speaks highly of herself. I am still skinny but I have embraced my physique without caring what anyone thinks or says. Now speaking on self-care I have learned to just take care of myself at all cost. In order to take care of my children my health is just as important.

My Vow to Celibacy

I bet you are wondering why make a vow to celibacy? While going through this phase in my life I have managed to vow to myself that I will not engage in any physical intimacy. I promise not to engage any activities that could lead to breaking this vow. Not saying that I can’t date but knowing that I don’t have to engage in anything that will trigger involvement that I know will break my vow. I will acknowledge and say I am happily dating and the difference is I am dating with a purpose in mind. The purpose is to meet a like-minded man that has a relationship with God, respects my decision to vow to celibacy until marriage, have similar goals and wants to build a family.

Activities That Could Lead to Breaking My Vow

  • Sleeping in the same bed
  • Staying in the same apartment/house
  • Drinking too much

Those are a few that I can think of right off the top of my head. I am sure there are more but I am sure you all grasp the concept. Do not put yourself in situations that can trigger your weakness and allow your flesh to give in.

Promise Ring

When I decided I was going through with the whole celibacy thing I told my close friends that I was buying myself a promise ring. All of my friends that I told were happy and encouraged my decision to want more. I made sure to explain my vow to celibacy. The promise ring symbolizes the vow I made to myself and serves as a reminder that this ring will stay on my ring finger until it is replaced. The promise ring will remain on my ring finger until it is replaced with an engagement ring and than my wedding ring. Most may not understand this concept but coming from a woman that knows her worth and what she can bring to the table any man that I come into contact with will have to understand my logic for doing this.

Conclusion

I am writing to the moms/women who are struggling to find love. The women who know their worth and will not settle for anything less than the best. In practicing celibacy you will learn that you are sacrificing a lot but knowing that the results will be even greater will bring joy and ease to your life.

Moms & Women if you are practicing celibacy and are looking to make a vow to yourself let’s talk. Leave a comment below!

If you are a mom or a woman looking into celibacy purchase and read this book today!!

Becoming Celibate After Being Sexually Active

Mother of Three & Celibate

**This article is a bit different from what I usually write about but I have been sitting on this for awhile and felt that the time is right.**
Disclosure: In the name of full transparency, please be aware that this blog post contains affiliate links and any purchases made through such links will result in a small commission for me (at no extra cost for you).

Let me rewind and provide a little bit more information. I know your mind is wondering how but brace yourself to find out why?

My oldest daughter is six years old, son is two years old and youngest daughter is soon to be eleven months old.

Well I know your wondering how long have you been celibate? I have been celibate for now almost 21 months.

Let me explain.

I found out I was pregnant on 4/26/2017. At the time I was seven weeks pregnant at the time I found out. I was hurt, confused and surprised.

All weird emotions, right?

Well, at this time I was already over and done with my previous relationship prior to me conceiving baby. I’m a grown woman so of course I took responsibility for my actions and took on my pregnancy like a champ. Baby girl was special in my eyes!!

Why Celibacy?

From the moment, I told the other party that there would no longer be a sexual relationship I realized that my body was more important than a quick satisfaction.

I wanted and deserved better.

I took in a lot of things that most didn’t and don’t know about. The relationship was toxic and I had to stand firm on what was important.

I chose ME and to not suffer in silence anymore.

It took me awhile but I had to forgive myself for staying in a relationship with this particular person for one and a half years but physically trying to co-parent in the same home for another year and a half. It was more so for my children but also because I didn’t want to move back to Ohio.

Selfish on my part, right?

Celibacy until Marriage

I started practicing celibacy without actually making a pledge to myself right away.

After hearing how good, ‘The Wait’ by Devon Franklin/ Meagan Good was I decided to read it and gain more insight into my decision. The book was amazing!

Going through my situation of fleeing an physical & emotional abusive relationship I knew that I had to make some changes within myself first. First thing was to gain back a relationship with God. Second, take care of myself (physically, mentally, financially & spiritually). Third thing was to continue to care for my three children.

Toxic relationships can put a hindrance on a lot of things that we can be blinded by. I didn’t chose to do this because of religious purposes. Looking back at my previous relationships I discovered a pattern of loving & being intimate with men that wanted nothing more. It seems as if marriage was far from their mind and I settled it for it. As women we must know our WORTH.

I made a vow to be celibate.

..committed to this vow because I am powerful and I have no desire to be sexually involved.

I matter.

..deserve to heal broken wounds.

..deserve to put my faith in God and know that marriage will follow when he see the time right.

 

Since reading ‘The Wait’ I have recommended this book to so many women. I would exclusively like to invite women that feel stuck, suffer from low confidence/self-esteem, have been in abusive relationships or just want a change to add this book to their list of books to read.

Once you start reading this book you will not want to put it down. Grab your copy now by clicking the book!!

 

30 Day Challenge – Moms Get Fit Too

Being a work from home mother I am all over the place most days.

Tired? Yes.

Don’t feel like cooking. Most days. I wish I had a personal chef.

Completing work and caring after my two youngest ones can be difficult. Majority of my days consist of caring for everyone else and sometimes not doing one thing for myself. I’m lucky if I can use the bathroom alone. Moms I am sure you can understand where I am coming from.

I had some goals that I wrote down for myself at the beginning of the year and the most important one was to get a routine down so I can get back to working out. After having three children I must say that my body needs some tender loving (LOL). Pictured below is me.

(Picture taken 2.28.18)

This is me 12 weeks postpartum. Most probably wouldn’t show themselves like this but I like to keep it real. Don’t get me wrong I love my body but I just want to tone my stomach, buttocks, arms and overall get back in shape.

Which is why I created this 30 day Challenge.

This 30 day Challenge is to help moms who are busy at home or working a 9-5 with little ones that can’t seem to fit a workout into their schedule.

Want in this challenge?

Feeling overwhelmed?

Feeling overworked?

Need 15-30 minutes to yourself daily?

Want to get back in shape?

Join Me Now!

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